If not me, then who?
This is my favorite quote. My motto. Maybe even my life’s mission.
If not me, then who?
Reflecting on this quote, the first time I fully embodied this was in my freshman year of college.
But first, some background.
I love golf and played in high school. My team was quite good. We made it to the Indiana High School State Finals - the highest achievement for a golf team. We placed 7th in the entire state. I enjoyed playing mostly for the team aspect and because I love the game and was always striving to do better.
Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology has been a top engineering school for years. This amazing university that I attended had been all-male until 1995, and I started my freshman year there in 1999.
The day before classes started, there was a golf informational meeting. The meeting was held to talk about tryouts and the team in general. Since Rose-Hulman is a Division 3 school, you try out for the sports teams instead of getting recruited for them. There was no women’s golf team, but I wanted to play golf. So, I went to the men’s golf team meeting.
Obviously, in doing so, I was the only female in a room full of 25 men. This isn’t too uncommon for me as a Mechanical Engineer.
After the meeting, the coach kept me after. He did two things.
Intimidated me: explained that I would have to play from the same golf tees as the men (who hit farther than women).
Accused me of ulterior motives: he thought I wanted a free round of golf.
These things infuriated me, and my Resident Hall Assistant (RA) saw that I was upset after the meeting. Later that evening, the coach called to apologize. I don’t know if he fully understood what he had done, but he knew I was upset. It was nice of him to apologize.
The next day, the assistant golf coach called me down to our Sports and Recreation Center. He said he would support me if I wanted to start the golf team. I needed to find enough women golfers, we would play for 2 years as a club sport and then get to varsity.
I was ecstatic! I immediately ran through the dorms begging any females who knew how to play golf to join the team.
And we did it.
Enough team members, a supportive coach, an RA who helped when she knew I was upset, and the Rose-Hulman Women’s Golf Team was founded!
If not me, then who?
I could have not done anything, since I was a female and there was no Women’s Golf Team. But, in showing up for what I wanted, regardless of what the “rules” were, I made a big change. The Rose-Hulman Women’s Golf team is amazingly good. Not sure I would make the team now!
This is your confidence reminder. You can do hard things. Go for it. If not you, then who?
